Wednesday, 5 August 2015

Soul travel and beyond

The past one month has been blessed. I got a feel of the glorious European summer. First London, then Vienna, then back to London. Warm, colourful, beautiful, passionate!

Vienna was enchanting, but my whistle-stop tour made it short as I had to get back to London for work and more! The Hafsburg Palace, Schonbrunn Palace, Naschmarkt and many other things that were quaint and beautiful. I even found a 1940s meat mincer, an exact replica of the one I had seen in my grandma's place and which my mother inherited.

In Vienna, over schnitzels and aperol, I spent lovely weekends in the twilight with childhood friends. And I bought the famed 'sacher torte' back to London and India. In fact I had my first sacher torte with a very dear friend, who had first mentioned about it to me, on my return to London in what seemed to be a magical evening. Its amazing how, spending a relaxing time with close friends can be so therapeutic. Never felt so relaxed and rejuvenated in my life!

Back home in India and a week later, I was off to the wonderland called Kashmir, this time with family. There are times I wondered how the Almighty had been extra generous and liberal to Kashmir
when it came to doling out natural beauty. Flowers, fruits, nuts, valley, rivers, lakes, forests- everything was in abundance. A pity that such beauty now has become synonymous with terror and danger.

Srinagar, Dal Lake, Pahalgam, Aru Valley, Betaab valley Jehlum (yes, that's the correct pronounciation) and its tributary Lidder were only the few places I could see. Sonemarg and Gulmarg are still left but a must see on my itinerary.

My travels have touched my soul but the magic I felt is inexplicable. Only I know why.

Monday, 25 May 2015


After many months, I was reminded of the poem by the bard of the east.

Unending Love

I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times…
In life after life, in age after age, forever.
My spellbound heart has made and remade the necklace of songs,
That you take as a gift, wear round your neck in your many forms,
In life after life, in age after age, forever.
Whenever I hear old chronicles of love, it’s age old pain,
It’s ancient tale of being apart or together.
As I stare on and on into the past, in the end you emerge,
Clad in the light of a pole-star, piercing the darkness of time.
You become an image of what is remembered forever.
You and I have floated here on the stream that brings from the fount.
At the heart of time, love of one for another.
We have played along side millions of lovers,
Shared in the same shy sweetness of meeting,
the distressful tears of farewell,
Old love but in shapes that renew and renew forever.
Today it is heaped at your feet, it has found its end in you
The love of all man’s days both past and forever:
Universal joy, universal sorrow, universal life.
The memories of all loves merging with this one love of ours -
And the songs of every poet past and forever.
~Rabindranath Tagore

Monday, 11 May 2015

Yes, I am fine, but....

Its been several years now from the mess I found myself in. Picked up the pieces, moved on, tried to make a success of my life and myself, pretended as if relationships have been on a even keel. Funny how things actually seem like it, when you pretend. When you want to scream and pull your hair out, but maintain a serene and even beatific expression, no one can gauge the storm within. Yes, success has not eluded me. A good worker, wife, mother, daughter and even sister. All boxes ticked. But why do I want more from my life? What do I want? The restlessness is back but in milder measure. Must be the beta blockers or is age catching up? What seems steady and calm still has a measure of the turbulence within. Will I go through life and youth unable to quell the stirrings within?

Thursday, 13 November 2014


I chanced upon this lovely blog... I have full empathy. This is unexplainable.

Tuesday, 28 October 2014

Floating in my own bubble, randomly

Nothing has changed. Only time has elapsed. I seem to be floating in my own bubble. I am not aware if this is what I want out of life. Am I happy or sad, content or dissatisfied, need more or less? This is the time of no feeling at all. Where has the intensity gone? It good to step out of the centre of one's world and look at it like an audience. To feel less intensely, to get on with one day at a time. Not wait for tomorrows nor pine for the yesterdays. Isn't that what life is all about?

Monday, 14 April 2014

Turned out you were just like us.

This is what Pakistani poetess Fahmida Riaz has to say about India today. Read on... "Turned out you were just like us." So it turned out you were just like us! Where were you hiding all this time, buddy? That stupidity, that ignorance we wallowed in for a century - look, it arrived at your shores too! Many congratulations to you! Raising the flag of religion, I guess now you’ll be setting up Hindu Raj? You too will commence to muddle everything up You, too, will ravage your beautiful garden. You, too, will sit and ponder - I can tell preparations are afoot - who is [truly] Hindu, who is not. I guess you’ll be passing fatwas soon! Here, too, it will become hard to survive. Here, too, you will sweat and bleed. You’ll barely make do joylessly. You will gasp for air like us. I used to wonder with such deep sorrow. And now, I laugh at the idea: it turned out you were just like us! We weren't two nations after all! To hell with education and learning. Let’s sing the praises of ignorance. Don’t look at the potholes in your path: bring back instead the times of yore! Practice harder till you master the skill of always walking backwards. Let not a single thought of the present break your focus upon the past! Repeat the same thing over and over - over and over, say only this: How glorious was India in the past! How sublime was India in days gone by! Then, dear friends, you will arrive and get to heaven after all. Yep. We've been there for a while now. Once you are there, once you’re in the same hell-hole, keep in touch and tell us how it goes!

Tuesday, 23 April 2013

Agony Aunthood- a whole new level

I have come back to my blog after a long, long time. Some changes both external and internal have manifested themselves in me in many ways. Reiki was one of them. The energy manipulation in my system was done and I did notice the positive effects. But no cure is wholistic and a lot depends on your own will. Let's say I am healed, but not cured. So I have become more adept at handling situations which are negative according to my own definitions. The last few months have made me evolve from a vulnerable, slavish soul to a more composed and mature individual. Let's say I don't do as much soul searching as before. Hence the lag in the blog. And the answers lie within myself. My friends now see me as an agony aunt. I am this non-judging pillar who they think can pillory with their internal storms, however, irresponsible or immoral. However, while I am their closest confidante, some changes within me are starting to occur. Slowly in my mind, I have begun to judge them. Its a secret! I feel they themselves are responsible for their misery. There can never be a compromise between right and wrong. The more wrong you do, the more troubled your life is. I see so much energy get wasted after meaningless pursuits. How would they feel if this energy would be spent on something less meaningless? I have not even got started about negative energy. Its just the wastage that has me appalled. I am not being moralistic. Just discovered that there is no debate between what is right and wrong. Contrary to the belief that the right path is difficult, I actually think being ethical and right is the easier option. Makes life easy. Try it!