Do men really come from Mars? I actually haven't the slightest clue as to where they are from! They probably come from the craters of all the planets, I guess!
This blogpost is all about 'tunnel' vision. The ability to block everything else and concentrate on work at hand. My girl friends often complain how the love of their life is neglecting them, they are drifting apart and they do not do happy things together any more.
Well, well...that is so familiar....Possibly men are wired that way. If something is bugging them, they will shut out everything and brood, or get drunk, but never share it till the crisis would impact the significant other. And women are left to play the guessing game..most often we make the mistake of guessing..he loves me, he loves me not instead of trying to guess what is troubling him.
Some men disappear from our lives as if they never existed. No amount of communication can get them to respond till they decide to and then come back warm and involved as ever, as if the disappearance never happened! But till such time, the poor woman as gone through many cycles of the guessing game!
Women are however, born multi-taskers. They don't believe in flying light...but carry the burden of responsibilities, stresses, strains, emotional set backs and physical work together. Hope I am not sounding one-sided. But yes, we are incapable ot tunnel vision except when circumstances really demand it.
And to escape from it all, we sometimes paint, or even write poetry :)
Monday, 2 May 2011
Friday, 22 April 2011
Sunday, 13 February 2011
Yeh Saali Zindagi!
Nah...I havent seen this movie yet, but just love the sound of its title!! So could not resist using it as a title of this blog. Life is truly a strange thing. It takes you down, takes you up and shakes you all around...but thank God, one is soon back to normal and in one piece...well, mostly.
When we are down and out, we say 'this too shall pass' and when the going is good...do we say that ? nah! But this too shall pass one day. Life is full of ups and downs. However, most of what we see as everyday and routine is actually life in the up. Anything that is not normal is not happy. Abnormal sources of joy can only be murky, sordid or transitory. But imagine how many hours of one's life we waste chasing joy that is not normal or due to us? But how do you define normal? Highly relative and means different things to different people. We also have new normals which need adjusting.
One thing I have never discussed in this blog...is the impatience we develop with the people who really care for us. How many times do we brush off somebody's concern? How completely callous we become when people say a few caring words to us? Its strange, but I am guilty of it when it comes to my mother. She is constantly badgering me to eat well and take frequent check ups, which I never listen and follow and show my impatience in various ways. I have seen the same contempt magnified many times by other people who are supposed to matter to me when I express my concern...strange, but this is life.
I am now laid up....with mild numbness in half my back...the doctor says its a nerve injury. This has not affected my lifestyle, but I hope I get my sensations back. I cannot exercise because of this. I have a week long official visit to Bangalore. Look forward to meeting my sis and her family. But I will miss my smallie and my mum and my life back in Kolkata. Till then, ciao babes and dudes. I shall be back soon!
When we are down and out, we say 'this too shall pass' and when the going is good...do we say that ? nah! But this too shall pass one day. Life is full of ups and downs. However, most of what we see as everyday and routine is actually life in the up. Anything that is not normal is not happy. Abnormal sources of joy can only be murky, sordid or transitory. But imagine how many hours of one's life we waste chasing joy that is not normal or due to us? But how do you define normal? Highly relative and means different things to different people. We also have new normals which need adjusting.
One thing I have never discussed in this blog...is the impatience we develop with the people who really care for us. How many times do we brush off somebody's concern? How completely callous we become when people say a few caring words to us? Its strange, but I am guilty of it when it comes to my mother. She is constantly badgering me to eat well and take frequent check ups, which I never listen and follow and show my impatience in various ways. I have seen the same contempt magnified many times by other people who are supposed to matter to me when I express my concern...strange, but this is life.
I am now laid up....with mild numbness in half my back...the doctor says its a nerve injury. This has not affected my lifestyle, but I hope I get my sensations back. I cannot exercise because of this. I have a week long official visit to Bangalore. Look forward to meeting my sis and her family. But I will miss my smallie and my mum and my life back in Kolkata. Till then, ciao babes and dudes. I shall be back soon!
Tuesday, 1 February 2011
Maximum city, with simplicity
I did two things on my return from the family vacation....get back into my fitness regimen..low oil, less carbs, crunches, squats and brisk walks..sometimes I am surprised at my amazing muscle memory. Second, I saw three good movies in a row. 'Band, Baaja, Baraat', supposedly a no-brainer but came out tops at the BO. Dilli da flavour took me back to my college days. 'Chippad, bhukkad, ainvayi, kya scene hai', all took me down memory lane and the despo Punju boys who used to follow us Delhi hosteller girls !! 'No One Killed Jessica' another Delhi-based movie was one of the best movies in recent times. Enjoyed Rani's gaalis, but give her 5/10 and Vidya gets full marks. This Tam Bram girl is something else. She takes restrained emoting to another level. Yaar is kudi mein baat hi kuch aur hai!
Now let me get to the film which the title of this blogpost talks about. 'Dhobi Ghat' a virgin offer from Kiran Rao's lenses, from Aamir's production house. The halls were empty. Janta mein shayad kuch jami nahin. Slices of four lives, strung together with a common thread in Mumbai. Simply told, in a bald, no-nonsense sort of a way. Raw at times, it punches you on the face! Each of the characters were very starkly portrayed. It had none of the masala which you would expect in a Mumbai movie...nor an overboard Danny Boyle style of portraying the filth and poverty of Mumbai's underbelly. This is where the crux of the blogpost lies....Kiran, spending substantial part of her childhood in Kolkata portrays Mumbai in a very Calcuttan-type of a way. I can relate to it..the pathos, the stoicism, the confusion and sarcasm...tinge it with hues I am so familiar with. Having been brought up in East India and with Calcutta as my home for the last 16 years, I know how it works. The devil is in the details, God is in small things.....No wonder the director found meaning in the bylanes haunted by a rat killer or the hook from the ceiling where the fan once hung...The movies ends cynically. Nothing changes in the lives of the protagonists. Its more a narrative, less a story. I would give the movie three stars.
Now let me get to the film which the title of this blogpost talks about. 'Dhobi Ghat' a virgin offer from Kiran Rao's lenses, from Aamir's production house. The halls were empty. Janta mein shayad kuch jami nahin. Slices of four lives, strung together with a common thread in Mumbai. Simply told, in a bald, no-nonsense sort of a way. Raw at times, it punches you on the face! Each of the characters were very starkly portrayed. It had none of the masala which you would expect in a Mumbai movie...nor an overboard Danny Boyle style of portraying the filth and poverty of Mumbai's underbelly. This is where the crux of the blogpost lies....Kiran, spending substantial part of her childhood in Kolkata portrays Mumbai in a very Calcuttan-type of a way. I can relate to it..the pathos, the stoicism, the confusion and sarcasm...tinge it with hues I am so familiar with. Having been brought up in East India and with Calcutta as my home for the last 16 years, I know how it works. The devil is in the details, God is in small things.....No wonder the director found meaning in the bylanes haunted by a rat killer or the hook from the ceiling where the fan once hung...The movies ends cynically. Nothing changes in the lives of the protagonists. Its more a narrative, less a story. I would give the movie three stars.
Tuesday, 30 November 2010
A birthday once more
This week will end with December 4, the day when I first met this world. This year has been uneventful. But it has calmed me down considerably. No significant achievements in personal or professional life except that it was a milestone. I became the mother of a college kid....
Say hello to the calm new me. The last one year has helped me grow up, manage my expectations, measure my joys and sorrows, balance the scales of my life. Some things are best left as they are. My new calmness should not be mistaken for lack of energy and passion which are hallmarks of my personality. Its just that the passion and energy are tamed to be utilised in the right channels. The result of this will take time to show. I still hate and love as passionately as before.
Today, I am not afraid of losing love, I am not insecure. I am no longer a crushed flower. I know I am me and nothing can change what I am. I shall not hanker for attention. I know my worth. And one thing is unchangeable...I recognise eternal love..it needs no relationship, not even frequent interactions. Its a permanent feeling..unchanging, no matter what the circumstances. Its not shallow or superficial. It has depth..of feeling and of caring. I know what I love and no one, not even the object of my affection should be involved. Love is freedom, a liberation..because you know you can always fall back on its subliminal feelings. Its unselfish and does not care about reciprocity. My love is my soulmate. Whether anyone agrees or not is immaterial.
All these thoughts have calmed me down. I have understood love that springs from the soul. There is no profit or loss in it.
Happy birthday to me!
Say hello to the calm new me. The last one year has helped me grow up, manage my expectations, measure my joys and sorrows, balance the scales of my life. Some things are best left as they are. My new calmness should not be mistaken for lack of energy and passion which are hallmarks of my personality. Its just that the passion and energy are tamed to be utilised in the right channels. The result of this will take time to show. I still hate and love as passionately as before.
Today, I am not afraid of losing love, I am not insecure. I am no longer a crushed flower. I know I am me and nothing can change what I am. I shall not hanker for attention. I know my worth. And one thing is unchangeable...I recognise eternal love..it needs no relationship, not even frequent interactions. Its a permanent feeling..unchanging, no matter what the circumstances. Its not shallow or superficial. It has depth..of feeling and of caring. I know what I love and no one, not even the object of my affection should be involved. Love is freedom, a liberation..because you know you can always fall back on its subliminal feelings. Its unselfish and does not care about reciprocity. My love is my soulmate. Whether anyone agrees or not is immaterial.
All these thoughts have calmed me down. I have understood love that springs from the soul. There is no profit or loss in it.
Happy birthday to me!
Saturday, 23 October 2010
Thursday, 21 October 2010
Autumnal reflections
'The only constant is change'....Heraclitus
My city was gripped by the Durga Puja fever, the sound of the dhak reverberated at every street corner, swelling retail footfalls, an air of anticipation engulfed my city....the festive season for me meant a break away from home...and the workplace which is increasingly going chameleonic. Huge budget cuts and uncertainty ('change' as it is fashionably called) make the workplace quite stressful. Every other day you bid farewell to a co-worker or one gets a goodbye email. The stress makes workers and colleagues complicated. They behave strangely. People feel persecuted and their behaviour makes others feel isolated. It becomes a vicious circle. But it was good to be away for 5 days at my sister's place at Bengaluru, the sexy destination in the Indian business lexicon. Weather was perfect, less of crowd and pollution and of course shopping...saris, salwar suits, table linen...the works!
My people observing skills were also put to good use. I watch couples closely and how they behave when the partner is around and how different they actually are when the other half is not around. In each others' presence they parrot and talk a common language and seem unrecognisable from their real selves. In the presence of the partner, they even start believing they think the same thoughts. So which is the real self...the one with the partner or the one without? Maybe the self which is more comfortable....
I love being the observer. I am the backroom girl....
Ciao till the next post...
My city was gripped by the Durga Puja fever, the sound of the dhak reverberated at every street corner, swelling retail footfalls, an air of anticipation engulfed my city....the festive season for me meant a break away from home...and the workplace which is increasingly going chameleonic. Huge budget cuts and uncertainty ('change' as it is fashionably called) make the workplace quite stressful. Every other day you bid farewell to a co-worker or one gets a goodbye email. The stress makes workers and colleagues complicated. They behave strangely. People feel persecuted and their behaviour makes others feel isolated. It becomes a vicious circle. But it was good to be away for 5 days at my sister's place at Bengaluru, the sexy destination in the Indian business lexicon. Weather was perfect, less of crowd and pollution and of course shopping...saris, salwar suits, table linen...the works!
My people observing skills were also put to good use. I watch couples closely and how they behave when the partner is around and how different they actually are when the other half is not around. In each others' presence they parrot and talk a common language and seem unrecognisable from their real selves. In the presence of the partner, they even start believing they think the same thoughts. So which is the real self...the one with the partner or the one without? Maybe the self which is more comfortable....
I love being the observer. I am the backroom girl....
Ciao till the next post...
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