February is supposed to be the month of love, ever since Valentine's Day became one of the most commercially profitable days for retailers. Cashing in on love, the oft corrupted, oft overrated concept still remains a four-letter word, a convenient excuse, a selfish and possessive concept and in short an enigmatic emotion.
I still have not come close to understanding it. But would like to believe:
1. It springs from the soul.
2. May mean appreciation, not necessarily reciprocation.
3. Its all about respecting the other person.
4. Not demanding or possessive.
5. Does not stifle.
6. Does not want to change the other person.
7. Understanding and adjustment, not compromise.
8. Trust and complete transparency.
9. Lying and hypocrisy completely unacceptable.
10. Pure joy and happiness.
Difficult, idealistic and you may come across the right person pretty late in life. Not a happy situation to be in. Sigh, such is life.
Friday, 5 February 2010
Warm days, cold evenings
Its been a long week, a blend of work, commitments and socialising. And yes, I did get a bit extravagant and bought a Ritu Kumar outfit just for a lark. But its quite flattering and makes me look good (a little narcissism does'nt hurt at all!). Its a black and red affair, with signature Ritu's embroideries and motifs and a very imaginative cut.
It was an impulsive buy as I had to go to a new restaurant opening. A north Indian food joint in the heart of the city's largest mall. Great ambience...loved the carved wood foliage interior design and Indian jhoola (swing) style chairs. Carefully decided menu, fine wines and the best grills served by silent, thoughtful waiters and waitresses was a good way to wind down.
Dinner included a conversation with one of the country's foremost newspaper barons. Must admit, he had very stark views bordering on the bizarre, which seemed too out of the box and especially crafted for effect. But what struck me as unacceptable, was an extreme regional chauvinism rooted in arrogance, a deliberate dismissal (read rubbishing) of anything that the other person may hold culturally and linguistically dear. Well, I was not at the receiving end, but felt appalled at being able to see myself tolerating this nonsense meted out to the next person on the table.
The spectre lurked under several layers of sophistication. Well, it takes all types to make this world, I told my disullisioned self and sometimes, your illusions crash when you become too good a listener. But a learning experience nevetheless about the country's movers and shakers who cannot look beyond their fish and rice (ironically that was not part of the menu! Ha! ha!). This could be great fodder to my imagination while writing my book.
The weather is still cold as I spent a few evenings at the Cricket and Football Club lawns and invariably I would forget to take my jacket/wrap and would spend a large part of my time shivering the evening away. My mum nags me to take more care of myself....a tall order when you have to take care and responsibility of others around you....
More in my next post.
It was an impulsive buy as I had to go to a new restaurant opening. A north Indian food joint in the heart of the city's largest mall. Great ambience...loved the carved wood foliage interior design and Indian jhoola (swing) style chairs. Carefully decided menu, fine wines and the best grills served by silent, thoughtful waiters and waitresses was a good way to wind down.
Dinner included a conversation with one of the country's foremost newspaper barons. Must admit, he had very stark views bordering on the bizarre, which seemed too out of the box and especially crafted for effect. But what struck me as unacceptable, was an extreme regional chauvinism rooted in arrogance, a deliberate dismissal (read rubbishing) of anything that the other person may hold culturally and linguistically dear. Well, I was not at the receiving end, but felt appalled at being able to see myself tolerating this nonsense meted out to the next person on the table.
The spectre lurked under several layers of sophistication. Well, it takes all types to make this world, I told my disullisioned self and sometimes, your illusions crash when you become too good a listener. But a learning experience nevetheless about the country's movers and shakers who cannot look beyond their fish and rice (ironically that was not part of the menu! Ha! ha!). This could be great fodder to my imagination while writing my book.
The weather is still cold as I spent a few evenings at the Cricket and Football Club lawns and invariably I would forget to take my jacket/wrap and would spend a large part of my time shivering the evening away. My mum nags me to take more care of myself....a tall order when you have to take care and responsibility of others around you....
More in my next post.
Monday, 25 January 2010
Whose environment is it anyway?
I live in an upmarket Kolkata locality, in a flat apartment of 8 houses where families of senior bureaucrats live. Last 20 years I have been appalled at the easy lifestyle and luxury that my brethren have led, but what I see now is enough to bring anyone to apoplectic rage.
Our building recently had a makeover. Most expensive marble was laid on the staircase, lot of beautification on the outside, with landscaping, coloured sandstone and marble motifs on the wall. The walls on every floor had a fresh coat of plastic paint.
The plumbing was overhauuled, the windows repaired, and as a result the building looks beautiful and gleaming.
But every evening as I leave for my evening jog or morning as I leave for office, my heart sinks....
The new plan has two electric bulbs on each floor. Each of the floors are small and have two large flats facing each other. One bulb would do...no, but some nitwit has decided that there will be two bulbs on each of the four floors. All the bulbs are kept on 24x7. I make it a point to switch off all the bulbs as I get in and out of the building during the day and extra bulbs during the night. We have police guards outside the gates, so we do not need bulbs shining all night on all the floors. However, this has not been take kindly by the inmates of our building and needless to say, I am not one of the popular people who lives here.
Secondly, the plastic wrappings of all the cement bags and other equipment packagings are piling up everyday and they look as if they are here to stay. I have asked the secretary of the building to send them to a recycling plant, but the pile seems to have been left untouched since the past month.
I am planning to take this up seriously or inform an activist group to come and do the needful. I am quite laid back otherwise but to see such blatant rape of the neighbourhood environment makes my hackles rise.
We are supposed to be the so-called enlightened members of the society, the opinion makers and implementers of policy for the nation. If we don't lead by example, then God save the environment.
Our building recently had a makeover. Most expensive marble was laid on the staircase, lot of beautification on the outside, with landscaping, coloured sandstone and marble motifs on the wall. The walls on every floor had a fresh coat of plastic paint.
The plumbing was overhauuled, the windows repaired, and as a result the building looks beautiful and gleaming.
But every evening as I leave for my evening jog or morning as I leave for office, my heart sinks....
The new plan has two electric bulbs on each floor. Each of the floors are small and have two large flats facing each other. One bulb would do...no, but some nitwit has decided that there will be two bulbs on each of the four floors. All the bulbs are kept on 24x7. I make it a point to switch off all the bulbs as I get in and out of the building during the day and extra bulbs during the night. We have police guards outside the gates, so we do not need bulbs shining all night on all the floors. However, this has not been take kindly by the inmates of our building and needless to say, I am not one of the popular people who lives here.
Secondly, the plastic wrappings of all the cement bags and other equipment packagings are piling up everyday and they look as if they are here to stay. I have asked the secretary of the building to send them to a recycling plant, but the pile seems to have been left untouched since the past month.
I am planning to take this up seriously or inform an activist group to come and do the needful. I am quite laid back otherwise but to see such blatant rape of the neighbourhood environment makes my hackles rise.
We are supposed to be the so-called enlightened members of the society, the opinion makers and implementers of policy for the nation. If we don't lead by example, then God save the environment.
Monday, 11 January 2010
Hue and View
Last week I woke up to find most of my girlfriends having a colour as their status on Facebook. Perplexed, I thought it must be the colour of their moods...however the next day newspapers carried a story on how someone had thought of a new way to promote breast cancer awareness by just mentioning the colour of a certain part of the lingerie....
This complete poverty of imagination must have come from some airhead who fancies herself to be a marketing guru. What's colour of the lingerie got to do with awareness about the deadly disease? This was supposed to be a girlie thing and no man was supposed to know what it meant. Sure enough it was all over the papers and obviously the men on FB understood what the colours were all about. Covert titillation? (no pun intended!)
I do sound very old-fashioned, but it surely beats my imagination to talk about something that is so private so openly. Talk about exibitionism....I was quite amazed to find women of all ages...coming out with the colour of the ahem, unknown, while the men on FB had the time of their lives reacting, responding and commenting on the colours the next day. Found the whole idea very cheap and what may have started with noble intentions got reduced to a pathetic excuse for extremely loose talk...
Obviously this became the talking point at most social dos...But I was nonplussed when I saw one FB status with attitude...None. Now, that's a first!
This complete poverty of imagination must have come from some airhead who fancies herself to be a marketing guru. What's colour of the lingerie got to do with awareness about the deadly disease? This was supposed to be a girlie thing and no man was supposed to know what it meant. Sure enough it was all over the papers and obviously the men on FB understood what the colours were all about. Covert titillation? (no pun intended!)
I do sound very old-fashioned, but it surely beats my imagination to talk about something that is so private so openly. Talk about exibitionism....I was quite amazed to find women of all ages...coming out with the colour of the ahem, unknown, while the men on FB had the time of their lives reacting, responding and commenting on the colours the next day. Found the whole idea very cheap and what may have started with noble intentions got reduced to a pathetic excuse for extremely loose talk...
Obviously this became the talking point at most social dos...But I was nonplussed when I saw one FB status with attitude...None. Now, that's a first!
Thursday, 31 December 2009
So what's the big deal?
For those who are unable to see my 2010 posts, please click on the link http://www.worldmenagerie.blogspot.com
My last post of the year and I am uncharacteristically late. My last blogposts in previous years have come earlier than the last day of the year. Just because I have been pondering....
This year, my take on this time of the year is very different....no looking back or forward, no mixed feelings, no trepidations and no hoping for this or that to happen, no hinging my happiness or sorrow on what happens with me or doesnt. The external environment does not matter, I shall find my own peace from within myself.
I am frozen, and possibly deviod of any thoughts. Just living for the present. Just carrying on life without planning or purpose. My life is still and so is my soul. It is from this stillness that peace and consequently happiness will spring forth. Never thought this state of numbness could be reached. It is an easier option....to go the way life steers you rather than try to steer life the way I want it. No more artificial living for me. Peace is preferred to happiness, respect is more important than love....
Bidding goodbye to the old or ringing in the new therefore has no meaning. So, what is the big deal? One needs no excuse to celebrate, or drink or be with friends and family? You can do it anytime....so does the New Year matter?
One day ends and a new one dawns...its just the same like any other day. Years, decades and centuries are just constructs of the human mind. To quantify time. Same goes for birthdays and anniversaries. What is known will always be so and what is unknown will never be known.
Not many will understand my frame of mind as I write this post. AND it really doesn't matter. I accept being one of the quirks of life....
Maybe this is what Eckhart Tolle is trying to tell when he talks of the 'Power of Now'....
My last post of the year and I am uncharacteristically late. My last blogposts in previous years have come earlier than the last day of the year. Just because I have been pondering....
This year, my take on this time of the year is very different....no looking back or forward, no mixed feelings, no trepidations and no hoping for this or that to happen, no hinging my happiness or sorrow on what happens with me or doesnt. The external environment does not matter, I shall find my own peace from within myself.
I am frozen, and possibly deviod of any thoughts. Just living for the present. Just carrying on life without planning or purpose. My life is still and so is my soul. It is from this stillness that peace and consequently happiness will spring forth. Never thought this state of numbness could be reached. It is an easier option....to go the way life steers you rather than try to steer life the way I want it. No more artificial living for me. Peace is preferred to happiness, respect is more important than love....
Bidding goodbye to the old or ringing in the new therefore has no meaning. So, what is the big deal? One needs no excuse to celebrate, or drink or be with friends and family? You can do it anytime....so does the New Year matter?
One day ends and a new one dawns...its just the same like any other day. Years, decades and centuries are just constructs of the human mind. To quantify time. Same goes for birthdays and anniversaries. What is known will always be so and what is unknown will never be known.
Not many will understand my frame of mind as I write this post. AND it really doesn't matter. I accept being one of the quirks of life....
Maybe this is what Eckhart Tolle is trying to tell when he talks of the 'Power of Now'....
Saturday, 12 December 2009
Today's tarot
You are too independent and others feel they cannot get close to you. People feel they bring nothing to your life and do not understand why you would want them around. Too focused on one's own goals. Feeling of freedom, but also have not formed ties....
Quite an accurate reading!
Quite an accurate reading!
Sunday, 15 November 2009
Farewell dearest sister
It has been exactly 12 days since I lost my dear elder sister to pancreatic cancer. She was 13 years my senior and was a strong force during my formative years. She was my strongest support, my harshest critic and one of the few well wishers I have in life today. I had never known life without her, so I took her presence in my life for granted till the last 4 and a half months when the deadly cancer was detected and played havoc with her system and finally took her away. But I had never anticipated the end would come so swiftly and painfully.
All along the four and a half months I had been begging God to grant her some extra days in life. But after seeing her in the critical care unit, I begged God to take her away, to release her from all physical suffering and mental agony. Even as she breathed her last, she looked as beautiful as she always was. Indeed God plucked the most beautiful flower from my parents' garden....
I also learnt one thing. If you are certain that God has willed something, you should not pray for something that goes against it. This is what some elders told me. Hard, but one has to accept it.
But even after 12 days since she has gone, the words 'deceased', 'dead', 'passed away', 'expired' when applied to her, hit me hard. And coping with breavement after a gap of around 21 years since my father died has become hard. So much so, it can be mistaken to be a physical illness...Bereavement and grief trigger breathlessness, drop in immunity, nausea and severe bodyache. All of this me and another sister of mine are suffering from...
After the finality of death, coping with beareavement and grief comes the prospect of moving on. As I key in this blogpost from my hotel room in central London, I am far away from home, and from her grave. But last few days, I have prayed like never before. The verses of my faith have started coming to naturally to me and as they comforted my sister when I recited them in her ears before the end came, they comfort me now.
Its far too soon to come out of mourning and start looking at business as usual. But a job has to be done and work has to go on. But after her demise, I feel something in me has changed. Cannot pinpoint it, but the change is there. The coming months will shape the change, hone it, finetune it so that it emerges clearly within me. Death is the final frontier. With one person gone, it changes many around the person who left. In work and management we are constantly talking about change management. Personal life has taught me, some changes can never be managed. You change irrevocably with the change. You cannot measure it. Life never becomes the same again.
So farewell, dear sister. May you rest in peace. I am sure you are at a better place than we are. And you will be there to welcome us when the time comes....
All along the four and a half months I had been begging God to grant her some extra days in life. But after seeing her in the critical care unit, I begged God to take her away, to release her from all physical suffering and mental agony. Even as she breathed her last, she looked as beautiful as she always was. Indeed God plucked the most beautiful flower from my parents' garden....
I also learnt one thing. If you are certain that God has willed something, you should not pray for something that goes against it. This is what some elders told me. Hard, but one has to accept it.
But even after 12 days since she has gone, the words 'deceased', 'dead', 'passed away', 'expired' when applied to her, hit me hard. And coping with breavement after a gap of around 21 years since my father died has become hard. So much so, it can be mistaken to be a physical illness...Bereavement and grief trigger breathlessness, drop in immunity, nausea and severe bodyache. All of this me and another sister of mine are suffering from...
After the finality of death, coping with beareavement and grief comes the prospect of moving on. As I key in this blogpost from my hotel room in central London, I am far away from home, and from her grave. But last few days, I have prayed like never before. The verses of my faith have started coming to naturally to me and as they comforted my sister when I recited them in her ears before the end came, they comfort me now.
Its far too soon to come out of mourning and start looking at business as usual. But a job has to be done and work has to go on. But after her demise, I feel something in me has changed. Cannot pinpoint it, but the change is there. The coming months will shape the change, hone it, finetune it so that it emerges clearly within me. Death is the final frontier. With one person gone, it changes many around the person who left. In work and management we are constantly talking about change management. Personal life has taught me, some changes can never be managed. You change irrevocably with the change. You cannot measure it. Life never becomes the same again.
So farewell, dear sister. May you rest in peace. I am sure you are at a better place than we are. And you will be there to welcome us when the time comes....
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